my belief system – part 2

My parents believe in pure Taoism principles.  I did not comprehend this when I was younger.  True to their beliefs, my parents did not ’teach’ me religious concepts, for they believe in life principles, not religions.  Unlike other kids, I did not know what religion my family belonged to.  Of course, in all our identity cards, our family religions were and are still  stated as ‘Christians’ but we never went to church nor did we have a bible in our house.

When I was of school age, my mother enrolled me in a nearby Catholic elementary school.  Her reason was simple.  The school offered the best academic program in my neighborhood.  Needless to say, admission to this favorite school was difficult.  Since one of the deciding factors was whether you were a Catholic, my mom enrolled me to Sunday classes and got my brother and I baptized months before the admission process started. 

I was told many years later, that my parents asked their Taoist mentor whether it would be appropriate to baptize their children.  The answer came that it is okay, for Tao extends beyond the boundaries of any religion.  It is a way of conducting your life, not just how you worship your God. 

So I was happily immersed with the teachings of Jesus and daily rituals of a Catholic school. Daily prayers, weekly prayers to Mother Mary,  monthly service in our school’s chapel and classes in Catholiticim, where we learn the history, New Testament and ploughed through exams on Catholic church rituals.

It felt great to belong.  Most of my friends were Catholics or would be Catholics.  There was comfort in sharing the same rituals, believing the same beliefs and even cracking the same religious jokes.

What I did not share with most of my friends was the religious family experience.  Most of them would go to church with their family on Sundays, celebrated Easter & Christmas, and had Catholic decorations in their homes.  My house was void of those.  And what was even more confusing to me at that time, my family did not celebrate any of the other religions’ festivals, too.  We only celebrated Chinese New Year, which is a traditional festival, not a religious one.

These inconsistencies on my religious identity was bothering me throughout my childhood and teenage years.  I was officially a Catholic, I understood and practiced all the Catholic rituals but I knew deep down that I was not a true Catholic.  On top of that, I had a nagging suspicion that my family actually did not belong to any religion.  A notion that was, and still is,  a big no-no in my country.

In this country, everybody is educated to believe that all men must have in faith in God and thus you must belong to at least one of the recognized religions.  Therefore, not belonging to any of these religions is to say that you are an Atheist.  Atheism is viewed as a most dreadful sin.  ”Free thinkers” is an unknown concept. (though this view may have changed now)

As a child, though, I was secretly fearful that my friends would discover my family non-religious situation.  I did not dream of getting clarification with my parents either as they obviously did not care on such things as religions.

It was not until I went abroad for my junior high education that some lights were shed for me.

~ by Soul on July 7, 2007.