No words of comfort.
Nor someone to fight my battle
What I need is a hand to hold ’till my knees regain strength
A shoulder to rest my rest my weary head
A protective embrace while I am pondering on my next step
In all, I just need to know that I’m not alone
i wish the passing time has brought you a little revelation
of what you’ve searched, found and threw away
of how magic worked amidst all wrongs
i wish for a tiny crack
on that steel door of yours
seeping rays of lights
shining rainbows
bringing you to my embrace
The Fountain mingle with the river
And the rivers with the ocean,
The winds of Heaven mix forever
With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single;
All things by a law divine
In one spirit meet and mingle.
Why not I with thine? -
See the mountains kiss high Heaven
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister-flower would be forgiven
If it disdained its brother;
And the sunlight clasps the earth
And the moonbeams kiss the sea:
What is all this sweet work worth
If thou kiss not me?
It is nothing new that one has to make decisions in life. And when that decision turns bad, I have to admit that a mistake has been made. Part of admitting the mistake, is by blaming that mistake on myself. More often than not, I blame me on my decision making process: “You let your feelings get in the way. They clouded your logic.” Then I would swallow the lesson and vow that I would not, ever, let my emotions get in the way of my decision making. But this time, the opposite happens.
I feel that I have made my decision using more head than heart this time, but it still went bad. And I’ve got to tell you that it feels worse and is definitely harder to get over than when I could blame myself on making choices based on emotions. At times, my head still doesn’t understand why. On the other hand, it has to admit that there are factors beyond me that affect how things may turn out: against the best of plans, or in this case, decisions.
This time, I find out that being reasonable and level-headed does not guarantee that things will be fine. It is just a better way of analyzing your options and making choices compared to basing my decisions on feelings.
is a truly fulfilling experience.
When I was younger I thought my parents are of a different world. Their thoughts, styles, habits and ways of thinking are from a different era. Now that I am able to spend more time with them, it is amazing the similarities I have found between they and I. I have seen so much of me in them, or should i say, there’s so much of them in me.
Like it or not, people tend to converge, across age gaps, as we grow older. The exprience and understanding gained on our life journeys bridge those gaps.
I have never regretted all the sacrifices I have forgone to be able to see them grow old… for the experience is priceless. I just hope that more daughters and sons realize this, before it is too late.
A friend asked me whether I understand why people want to get married the other day and I kinda surprised myself with my answer:
“I think it is not the marriage itself that matters. It is more about finding someone who completes you. And when you do, you’d naturally want to be together. In this society, when a couple decides to share a life, there are many everyday things that will be easier when you have that marriage certificate.”
I remember vividly how, a few years back, I used to tell friends that I can’t figure out why people want to get married… apparently, I’ve changed quit a bit since then … without me knowing.
I thank You for everything, good and bad, and pray for light to brighten my path, patience and strength to move forward and peace of mind to see wisdoms You show along my way.
then and again, i find myself in a complicated situation: my heart and head going in separate directions.
when i let my heart rules, it tends to put me in a more and more vulnerable position. something that my head won’t agree. but then again, i know that if one never put oneself in a vulnerable position, chances are one never get to experience real emotions. and what’s life without emotions?
my head fights its way so that i’ll always be down to earth, reasonable, and practical. it provides reliability, stability and protection… and it has been warning me that i have let myself to much into this situation. i need to brace myself, protect my heart from being broken.
“Don’t you know you fool you never can win
Use your mentality, wake up to reality”
so now… i need to slow down and brace myself. and as in the past, i’ll find a way to make myself do it. life has to go on.
so many questions i’d like to ask you.. many of which i dunno how to phrase. among those, which i can manage to put into words, may not be appropriate to ask. i just wanna know what you are thinking and what do you see. why must this be so complicated?
How could I begin to describe it?
Beautiful surroundings, blessed with sunny days to enjoy them. Good food with wonderful company to share with. These days have been almost like a dream…
